I’m doing something this week that terrifies me.
It’s kept me up at night, brought me to tears, taken up a lot of space in my journal, and made me question everything over and over again.
What is it?
I’m going to Bali. Alone. To teach English.
I don’t know where the school is.
I don’t know who my students are.
I don’t know what the plan is.
But I know one thing.
I have to do it.
I made a promise to myself.
You see, when I was in Bali for the very first time in July, I felt such a strong sense of ‘home’. I didn’t speak the language, and I knew no one, but yet a voice inside me whispered ‘find a way to stay’.
There are no accidents in life, they say. And there never are in mine. The day after I heard that voice, I met a young man who apologised for his lack of English. He was a waiter at our hotel and said he was struggling with his lessons at University, and that the grammar was very difficult for him. I immediately grabbed a napkin and a pen and explained the grammar to him. His eyes lit up and he GOT IT! (I love seeing that look on someone’s face and I am fortunate to have seen it thousands of times in my career.) He asked me to come and teach at his school the next day, and I jumped at the chance.
Now I am going back to Bali as a volunteer teacher and trainer. It’s my way of giving back. I want to help other teachers and university students communicate better in English, and help the hotel staff feel more confident when dealing with tourists.
I know 3 people in that country and I have spoken to them for a total of 15 minutes.
I have never travelled alone before.
I have never flown so far by myself before.
I have never been away from my husband and children for more than 5 days.
This will be a lot longer than 6 days.
But….my passion for teaching overrides my fear. It overrides almost anything. I’m terrified of earthquakes, tsunamis, food poisoning, spider bites, getting lost, getting robbed, and oh boy the list goes on and on. But you know what? That little voice inside me drowns out my fear every time. If I stay focussed on my passion, my talent, my gift, and the vision I want to share with the world, I almost forget my fear.
What are you afraid to do?
Write it down.
Then write down all of the wonderful things you can share with the world.
Which list is longer?